


Who's the Best Hacker in the World, People?

by bettername2come



Series: Long Distance Phone Calls to Central City [10]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Competition, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hacking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 09:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7612495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bettername2come/pseuds/bettername2come
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Cisco and Felicity compete in a ludicrous competition to determine who is truly the greatest hacker of them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's the Best Hacker in the World, People?

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about hacking. It is a hobby I do not engage in. I've been waiting for someone to write something along these lines since 2x12 of Flash. Apparently it's gotta be me. But yeah, this probably counts as crack!fic.

“This? This is what you’re calling about?” Felicity said into the phone, exasperated. “Because Caitlin and Barry think I’m a better hacker than you?”

“Well, they _both_ said it. They’re supposed to be on _my_ team,” Cisco sulked.

 “A contest? You actually want to have a contest?”

“Barry and Oliver did it.”

“We’re supposed to be smarter than them,” Felicity reminded him.

“You’re just afraid you’re going to lose.”

Felicity scoffed. “No, I’m not. I’m the fastest hacker alive. You can’t beat me.”

“I’ve been practicing,” Cisco said. “I’ve gotten a lot faster than I used to be.”

“Hacking isn’t even your specialty. I don’t challenge you to costume design or nicknaming contests. I’ve never tried to build a cold gun.”

“You picked Digg’s codename,” Cisco said. “Spartan. That does even tell you what he does.”

“It’s not like he has powers or an overdramatic theme. He’s a _warrior_ ,” Felicity said. “The name makes perfect sense.” She rolled her eyes as she sat in her chair and rolled up to her computer. “Fine. You want to duel? Let’s duel. What are we hacking?”

“You got any supervillains we need to focus on first?”

“No. You?”

“You think I’d be challenging you to a hacking competition if supervillains were being active right now?” Cisco asked. “Wait, don’t answer that. No, it’s a sunshiny, criminal-free day in Central City and I’m ready to spend it wasting time on the internet.”

“All right, then I say, we try something unlikely to get us locked away in an unknown government prison,” Felicity said.

“Oh, I know. The top-secret Coca-Cola formula,” Cisco said.

“You want to waste our superior computer skills on getting the recipe to a drink, when I can just go buy one for a dollar?” Felicity asked.

“Hey, if you don’t think you can hack it…”

“I didn’t say no,” Felicity said. She sighed. “All right, let’s do it.”

“Yes! I feel like I’ve been training my whole life for this moment,” Cisco said.

“You eat way too much junk food. And I say that knowing perfectly well that Team Arrow keeps the local Big Belly Burger in business. All right, on your mark, get set, HACK!” Felicity said. Her fingers began flying across the keyboard as she stumbled through the corporate website into the email accounts of various corporate executives. She felt like she might actually be close to finding it when Cisco yelled out. “Got it!”

“What?”

“Found it!” he said.

“What is it?”

Cisco rattled off the recipe, and Felicity frowned, but kept looking. A moment later, she found the same thing he had said. “Ok, fine. It checks out.”

“Told you I’ve been practicing.”

“I want a rematch,” Felicity said.

“What?”

“Best two out of three,” she said.

Cisco sighed. “Ok, fine. What do you want to find this time?”

“The Colonel’s secret recipe.”

“The KFC recipe?” Cisco’s voice sounded more panicked than Felicity would have liked. “Please tell me you’re not going to try to cook. I can’t in good conscience endanger the people of Star City.”

“I resent that comment. But no, I was going to give it to Oliver, who won’t, you know, burn the kitchen down.”

“Probably the best for everyone,” Cisco said. “All right. “Get ready.”

“Get set.”

“Go!” Cisco said.

Felicity started looking, but it seemed like barely a minute had passed before Cisco once again yelled, “Got it!”

“I’m not even close!” Felicity complained. “How do I know you really found it? Send me a screenshot!”

“Uh, can’t do that. Keep looking, I’m sure you’ll find it eventually.”

Felicity continued searching, but couldn’t find a complete list with ratios. “I can’t find it anywhere. Where are you looking?”

“A technician never reveals his secrets,” he said.

The answer clicked into place for Felicity. “Wait. Cisco Ramon, are you _cheating_?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Felicity glared at the computer screen. She hit a few keys and within moments she had hacked into the security system of STAR Labs, and seconds later she was staring at their video feed. There stood Cisco, nowhere near a computer, Vibe goggles on as he held the phone to his ear. “Then why are you wearing the glasses? And where’s your computer?”

Cisco whipped his head around, looking for their security cameras and finding the one in the corner of his workshop. He pointed at the lens accusingly. “Did you – did you hack into STAR Labs? _Again_?”

“That is not the point! The point is you were trying to pass off powers as hacking prowess. Not. Cool.”

“We never said I couldn’t use my powers.”

“It was a hacking duel. You didn’t hack anything! Which means you forfeit and I win.”

“I found the recipes first. I win.”

“Nope. I win. Overwatch one, Vibe zero.”

She watched through the video feed as Cisco reached his free hand towards his head like he was in deep thought.

A moment later, his voice rang out in the lair and her earpiece. “Okay, fine, I cheated. You happy now?” he said, not three feet away from her, standing in a swirling vortex of blue and white lights.

“Gah!” Felicity yelled, jumping back in her chair, making the image of Cisco pull the phone from his ear. She glanced back and forth between the Cisco in front of her and the one standing in STAR Labs. “How are you doing that?”

 Cisco shrugged. “My powers advanced.”

“Advanced?” Felicity said. “How do you go from visions to astral projection?”

“If I knew I would tell you,” Cisco said.

“So basically you just astral projected yourself into the KFC vault to steal their recipe?”

“Yeah, and you know what? Not even an interesting vault,” Cisco said. “I was hoping it would be guarded by lasers or sharks or something, but nope. Plain looking wall safe. Which is probably part of their cover.”

“So what you’re saying is we couldn’t have hacked into it anyway.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Cisco said.

“And you currently hold the Colonel’s secret recipe.”

Cisco tapped at his temple. “Yes, I do.”

“So, the next time we head to Central City, can I assume you’ll be making chicken?”

“It would be a waste of a perfectly good recipe if I didn’t.”

“Good.” Felicity smiled. “But, impressive powers aside, you didn’t actually hack anything, so…”

“So what?”

“So you gotta say it.”

Cisco bit his lip.

“C’mon, you have to admit it. Who’s the best hacker in the world?”

Cisco sighed. “Felicity Smoak.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard. Seriously, though, Team Arrow will definitely be calling next time I can’t find the answers. That was impressive,” Felicity said. She raised her hand. “High five.”

“Did you forget I’m not actually here?”

“Oh.” Felicity closed her fist and lowered her arm. “Kinda. Yeah.”

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously this is where they hide the KFC recipe. Cisco and I are both disappointed.
> 
> http://sploid.gizmodo.com/this-is-the-vault-where-kfc-guards-the-colonels-secret-1650566046


End file.
